I haven’t been on tumblr in what feels like forever, I have been eating whatever I want and no working out which always equals weight gain (up to 146.8 last I checked).  I can only be mad at myself for getting so far off track.  The laziness started when I started to work 7 days a week for 12 or 13 hours a day.  I didn’t want to have to get out of bed at 3am to get to the gym before work and by the time I got out off I was to tired.  Because of that I fell off my schedule and since i haven’t been working the long hours I cant seem to get back on it.  I am not making excuses for myself I am only stating what I think happened and how I feel off track so far.  I need help and support but first I have to motivate myself.  I feel like the new year is the best time to start.  I still have my goal of being 110lbs so I will be back on track one way or another.  I haven’t counted a calorie or obsessed about anything I put into my mouth, which felt good for a moment.  I am to the point though that I don’t want to put on clothes to go anywhere but to work.  I feel so bloated and nasty that I feel my body cant take it.  So this is me saying I am ready again.  I am ready to make my workout routine and stick to it!

I think I am actually going to start the healthy skinny girl diet as it will be easier for me to stick to and I figure I will be getting enough calories so I will not get sick and be tired all the time.  So day one says I get 900 calories, which is plenty I am going to make most of those from fruit and vegetables though.  I get really stressed and obsessive about food when my calories are planned to low.  I will give this a try for a week and if its not working i will switch to the skinny girl diet. 

I have been extremely exhausted and weak lately.  I have been working 7 days a week for the last few weeks and it has been killing me!! I never knew how much I appreciated those two days.  Anyway I have not worked out in about two weeks and have been eating like complete shit.  I mean it has been bad.  My weight is 142.2 and I’m sick of it.  I am back on the skinny girl diet and I am going to complete it if it freaking kills me!  I know I will not make my goal by the new year but I want to try damn hard to make it as close as I can.  I am changing my goals to May 2012, that is when I want to feel good about my self and love looking at my body. 

Anyway today is day 1 of the skinny girl diet and I am allowed 400 calories.  Because I plan on getting back to going to the gym in the mornings I am not counting fruits and vegetables into my intake.  I woke up a little later than expected today so I only had time to do my strength training workout.  I will get on my excersie bike later tonight so I can get some cardio in.

For breakfast so far I have had

2 slices of 35 calorie toast (70)

1/4 serving of better’n peanut butter (lower calories from whole foods) (25)

1 cup of regular tea with splenda (0)

Will post full day intake/outake later

The last two weeks I have had no solid workouts and have been eating nothing but garbage food. I have had a cold/sinus infection this whole time and that is mo excuse. I am so scared to even step on a scale ugh. this week is going to be a good week! I am finally feeling better and my period should be done by tomorrow or Tuesday at the latest. I CAN get back on track

So I’m walking at work minding my business getting my stuff off the printer, when this lady stops me to ask why I never walk with my head up.  She says that it shows confidence to walk with your head up and the whole time I’m thinking well lady if you knew me at all you would know that I don’t have an ounce of confidence.

after a week of being sick I am ready to get back on track. its been no workouts, eating the most unhealthy food and alcohol.

I do this all the time… but I also smash my phone :-)

(Source: healthy-happy-andfree, via needthin-towin-deactivated20120)

I ve been thinking that I want to start from day 1 of the skinny girl diet. I know if I just follow the plan I make for myself I can stick to it and succeed. the past few days have been so bad for me I just feel like I have no control over what goes into my mouth but in reality I have all the control. so tomorrow will be day 1 again and I will try to make everyday perfect.

Okay today is day 7 and I am allowed 650 calories today, but how messed up I ate the last few days I might not allow that many but we will see.  I have my meals at work planned out and I need to stick to that.

This is how my weight has been so far

Day 1 141

Day 2 Didnt weigh

Day 3 139.2

Day 4 138.2

Day 5 137.4

Day 6 137.4

Day 7 138